love company
or maybe it should read "loved"
it's kind of strange
or at least a revelation
I considered myself "social"
now am not so sure
unsure
hesitant
and it's not about acceptance
maybe I expect too much
somehow making plans
the anticipation
brings with it a dark side
something lurking from the back of my mind
making me think
what if it's not fun
what if it's boring
what if I'm still lonely in a crowd
worse still what if I don't feel like it
and still have to go along
go through the motions
maybe it's the planning
maybe that just kills it
am still blown away by the magic of conversation
maybe I just crave spontaneity
something impromptu
at the spur of the moment
hard in these busy times
where everyone is booked ahead for months
and it takes 20 sms's to plan ahead
so guess what am trying to say
is no wonder my favorite free time is exactly that
Free Time - nothing planned
Perfection!
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